A Solid Foundation

Building relationships are important to know and understand how to do. So far each post I have written is pertaining to a relationship with God being the foundation to our  relationships. Why should our relationship with God be our foundation to build on? God gives you the opportunity through our relationships with others to build on what He has established in you. Notably this but it is also allows us to give to others who God has called us to be. Knowing who you are is primary to how you respond to being in relationships with others. The process of building in relationships is to improve who we are and what/how we do.

Building a better relationship with God is building a better you. He knows the purpose in His creation. Investing in this can bring you peace and that is truthfully the real goal in life. Understanding who you are will build confidence and cause you to live by a standard. Having a standard means you will not allow others to dictate or take over your life, self-worth, and purpose.

"He who loves understands, and he who understands loves." 

-Paul Tournier

I enjoy this quote because it brings out the truth in which we must take into account. Sure it's important that we love but more importantly to understand why we must love. We must love with no condition attached just simply because we understand that without it we cannot truly be imitators of God. God is love.

Build in love, the kind that permeates throughout your entire being and takes you into eternal peace and joy. 

  

Growth in Recovery

I wrote my story before my transplant and I am glad I did. I have since this story been in three major surgeries in less than a year. I am currently going through procedures from my colon being removed and reading this has helped me in understanding the fullness of my recovery process. Reading this has allowed me to give myself credit for the things I am currently working through in my relationships and outside of them. I am still in the proper timing of who God has created me to be as I am recovering and being made whole, restored. We must trust that all things work together for good. It's not about my personal good as much as it serves for a greater understanding of how good God operates in maintaining order.


Well here it is ...


I was 16 years old when diagnosed with autoimmune hepatitis. I didn't understand how your body would just decide to attack itself but it never stopped me from leading a full life of athletics. I ran marathons throughout school played soccer and basketball but running became my relief through college. I had two kids. The first in 2007 was my son and I called him my chosen one. I knew that having a child would be a nine month battle but I chose to go through with it. I had to go to several doctors and get treatments every so often. This is while going to school full time and working. After he was born I discovered I had also ulcerative colitis that developed from the pregnancy so that just added to the main issue. I had to move forward now to take care of a child. I never stopped running, never stopped going to school or working. I was pushing myself to my limit while taking care of my disorders. In 2009 I had my daughter, I call her my fighter because she was almost a miscarriage but through all of the things that I was doing to support my son and myself, she fought to stay here. Eventually I had to go on bed rest at the end of my pregnancy with her, more medical bills and now paying back student loans accumulated from over the years. I eventually ended up getting married to their father. Then one day my body shut down on me and my husband left me and the kids alone. I went to live with my sister who helps a lot. Now, after a few years, my children and I are back living with my parents. I have weekly appointments, emergency hospital admissions, and continuous treatments and procedures to help maintain me as stable as possible. I have been on disability for 3 years now that means one small check a month to take care of me and my 2 blessings, my kids.




I have always shied away from an opportunity to share my story. I don't know, I thought if no one knew it, was a step closer for me to just be normal, ordinary. But no matter how much of a secret I kept my life the extraordinary tended to follow. Around this time, (August of 2013), no one could have told me God had a plan for my life and I believe it because I felt I was facing the last of my days of my life at this moment. I had been ill for the past two months (June and July) prior and in the hospital fighting. I lost my home I had just got with my, then husband and two children, and eventually my husband at the time( I had just married that April) left me to tend to kids and come up with how we were going to now survive (just the three of us). Thank goodness for my family, they swooped in and took my kids in their care until I could get better which was the plan. Still wreak with questions and a shaken faith I was being told my percentages for liver transplant success, this was not high. My doctors felt they needed to act quickly on this pain that was leaving me weak so I was being prepared for multiple surgeries. I was visited by everyone in one evening from the Chaplin to the anesthesiologist. I told my own family who was calling me not to come visit me. All I wanted was peace so I told everyone not to come visit just go to the church and pray and I'll call and conference. The very next morning I was up and walking and without pain, I did not need those surgeries.



There has been some struggling points. I had days when I couldn't see my progression. I tried everything to make the things in my life successful. I beat myself up for not reaching a certain level of accomplishment and then there came a time when I realized I didn't understand progression; I found out that's why I couldn't see it.


You’re not just created to live but to utilize your purpose. That's why I have my non-profit event, A Chosen Generation Cafe where I speak to young people about my story and how I overcame all odds installing a message of being exceptional in Christ, who lives in me and in the lives of others.

Pray without ceasing

1 Thessalonians 5:17  "Praying without ceasing."

To be in constant communication with God is key to the direction in which we move in our lives because He gives us direction through His word and to obtain this direction we must listen. This is our example of effective communication that we should reference in all of our relationships.
         
Communication keeps us away from making foolish decisions out of ignorance. We cannot just assume what God's will for us is by merely just acting according to our own understanding of His word We still need Him, the Holy Spirit to connect the things we are knowledgeable of to what He is truly saying and speaking over our lives. We must not only talk to Him on a consistent basis but also listen.

Jeremiah 33:3  Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.

This is key to obtaining knowledge and a wise man knows he needs knowledge ... We need the things learned through instruction and application which is the wisdom we need to be in a successful relationship. Invest the time in your relationships that is required for the full understanding of why you are in it.

A comprehensive relationship is to understand the truth of being in that relationship you hold with one another.

truth = the original information

I love the simplicity of this definition. We would like to think God is complex but He is not. In fact He is just this simple when it comes to His will for us. All He truly desires from us is to be as He has created us to be, in His image, imitators of His love. Show love in effective communication with others.

Thanking God for Community

I've been confronted with feelings of anxiety and depression. Dealing with being unsure with how I am going to survive different situations is not something I handle well, at least in my opinion. I become a bit excessive when it comes to preparing my everyday life. I want to feel at peace with certain tasks and people. I try to cover all basis of scenarios of events that could possibly take place so I do and I did to that at one point I did not include the people that were involved because they wouldn't do  or complete things the way I saw it fit or in my eyes the way it should be. I found out the struggle was real when I became very ill from  a liver disorder I was diagnosed with at a young age. I came out of a two month hospital stay and could not walk,  could barely move my arms so I was assisted in bathing and combing my hair plus a lot of other things that may seem small when you're at your best I could not do on my own. I needed help.

I had a fear of maybe I would not ever get back to where I used to be physically, financially, mentally. At the time I did not address these fears because I had way too much to think about than some little feelings I had. I had/have two children that need me at my best so at the end of the day thats all they would see out of me, my best, which at the time for me was not what I saw as my best. I would push pass severe pain doing things I knew I probably should not have been doing LOL (I still cannot fully admit this). I remember those around me were trying to tell me to just rest (they still do to this day) and of course would try and assist me the best they knew how. No one person could do anything the way I saw it should be but everyone there for me did their best and collectively I saw how it needed to be. I was humbled real quick. My patience was tested tremendously and my trust in God grew enormously, and this was just the beginning of a 5 year crazy fight with my illness.

Since then I have had a liver transplant, my spleen removed, and my colon removed as well. I get the looks and comments whenever I disclose this information to anyone. I really do not look like what I have been through and actually for the most part I don't feel like it either. I had a day when I was texting a friend that I did not want to take any medicine for a headache, his text "I don't blame you, you've been through a lot." I have been told this a little more than a lot but for some reason it did not click until I read it in this text message. I thanked him, my understanding that it was ok to feel a certain way was never there and now I could. I'm not saying you should feel sorry for yourself and go into a depression but recognizing that we are part flesh (human) allows us to see that we should not get caught up in the feeling so deep we go into a deep depression and never see how spiritual strong we are in God and who He created us to be. I have been through a whole lot and I still have some days I am under the weather. I take each day with stride and most importantly I accept gratefully the things I can control and the things I can not I sit back and watch God do what He does BEST!

If it was not for each part of Him showing me how collectively I needed Him I would not have understood how to properly handle my unsure feelings and fears. I would not have conquered my feelings of sorrow in times of loneliness and I definitely would not even find it necessary to continue to push for my PURPOSE  being fulfilled.

*Romans 12:4-5
For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.

The Grand Detour

Soooo ... I've been ghost for a minute but I'M BACK!!! For those of you who don't know I had gotten really ill, I mean so sick to the point I was actually barely moving so to even think that I could commit to writing I definitely needed motivation from within to do so. Mentally I was down, ya girl was out for the count but I pushed as hard as my body could stand and I made it. (I'll be speaking on my FIVE year journey in future articles). I had to make some stops but while I was on my Detour or the more "scenic route", I picked up on some things that I could utilize. *as always with me its about the appreciation for the learning process*

I'm not sure if I will be starting up my class again but I promise you I will be posting new articles from time to time.

I'm going to be honest, growing up I really did not care to be in any relationships outside of the ones I had to be in within my family (my siblings, parents, cousins). SO even feeling the need to speak on them has been a struggle for me. Also, I am a single /divorced mother of two and have been since starting this blog and that information alone tripped me out. It was the question of .. How can a happily single woman feel the audacity to speak about being in relationships? I actually struggled with this question when I was asked to teach a course on relationships. Yes I still taught the course but it took some going back and forth within myself to do. Well I found out in the process of teaching it was needed for me more than it was for others but telling my story about them I had to see that others need to hear as well for the healing to be complete. O that was the revelation I came to by the way I was not at all willing to deal in my own relationships because I felt it was time consuming and I was limited on time. Whats hilarious about that statement is how can I truly say that when I don't even know the exact time that I have for my lifetime? I realized that I was not well from the relationships I had "failed" in, from my friendships, lovers, and some family. I needed to be mended, I needed to be nurtured and cared for. God definitely worked in every facet of my life, through those I least expected and those who have always been around. People who seemed at first insignificant were more involved in the process of my healing than any others. THIS allowed me to cherish the time I do have and fully involve my growth process to be active in my relationships and when I began to do that I found out how each of them were a success non of them failed me. I gained from each of them  and became more equipped.

See I didn't change my route I just had to go back to the where I had begun and truthfully define what my failures were and what my successes were then start fresh, renewed.
I've never changed, I've always known who I was, Who I am, and Whose I am. So in the end or the Beginning I am wiser than before and so I never fell short or failed to see the things and opportunities that were offered to me as I veered off course. I'm not at all saying it was ALL part of the ultimate plan but it did turn out to be beneficial for my PURPOSE.

My relation with God never fails because from it we build and we grow TOGETHER. Yessir I said it God has the ability to grow and He does it through us.


*Psalm 149:4
For the Lord takes pleasure in His people; He will beautify the afflicted ones with salvation.

*Proverbs 8:30-31
Then I was beside Him, as a master workman; And I was daily His delight, rejoicing always before Him, Rejoicing in the world, His earth, And having my delight in the sons of men.

Your Testimony will make others BOLD

This blog is about to change direction a little bit not too much though. I'm enthused everyday about the passion I see around me from those within my age group desiring to see a change in their community as well as themselves.  Radically investing in the next generation by simply sharing a piece of their lives with one another and those younger or older than them.I absolutely LOVE it! This is part of building stronger lasting relationships, the kind that passes down from one generation to another leaving a legacy of faith, love, and purity for this world to rejuvenate with each passing year. 

I have the pleasure of interacting with young people around my community, this is very important to me because, well, I have children and some of the things I witness going on today in schools and homes and prisons are quite disturbing. It can leave you discouraged about where society is headed and I'm positive if I feel this way then our children must feel this deep sense of pressure even if they are unsure where to place the emotion at the time. The resulting truth I gain from most of their stories is that I couldn't possibly understand what its like to live through what they are going through. Even with all the encouraging words to give them its still an "easier said than done" type feeling. The mentality is now that of survival, eat or be eaten. Can you imagine being ill equipped to take on all that the world can throw at you but still have to face it head on no questions asked. Some of us have felt this way at one point but instead of utilizing what was left for you (the passing down of material, wealth, knowledge, or a trade etc) because it isn't being taught or shown anymore or even discussed you are left to find your own. Lets not mention if the motivation to find your own isn't really developed you are left with just following what the majority is doing because they seem to be making it or at least having "fun" anything to take your mind off of the misery the future holds. Imagine feeling alone in a place inhabited by billions of people. This is what I hear everyday. Now I understand there are programs and centers located all across the globe to access knowledge and tools needed for teens and young adults to begin to change and grow but why is it still so difficult to get them to these places. Its not enough to just say they don't want help, so, O well! moving forward with my life. Let's start a movement of motivation, inspiring one another to want MORE. As I get older I'm finding it more important to tell my story. I used to think it was unnecessary, "they don't need to hear what I've gone through just the result which is positive and I definitely don't want anyone feeling pity for me so I'll just leave the struggle out of the success they'll get the motivation they need." WRONG! Doing this left to many unanswered questions and young people begin to not really come to adults because they don't feel a sense of something REAL to relate to. My Challenge for you is to tell your story, I'm not saying tell every gory, juicy detail, some things should be left out (certain things must be understood with maturity). Just know your story can make the difference in a decision today, everyday.

FB Post from Anonymous

From: Anonymous

Praising God ....if you know my God like I do every hour you wouldn't want to do anything else but PRAISE HIM!! 

Question fb friends???? Why are the people who are doing positive things in life,planning, structuring, set and acheiving life goals and milestones,to make moves for their future and future family's they plan to build together in Marriage SO OFTEN SINGLE???? (I.E. THIS GUYYYY ^^^^^^^^^^) LOL....please help me to understand


Relationship- the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.
Marriage- 1. the formal union of a man and a woman, typically recognized by law, by which they become husband and wife

Those who lead a more structured lifestyle tend to be able to see the bigger picture in most situations. Being single is not the situation that they are in, it is a choice that they are making because to be successfully Single is to be whole/complete. When we enter into a relationship such as marriage we  need to be able to give 100% of our dedication and selves to the marriage. Who we are translate into what we do and how we act so with those who plan it may feel like more of a strategic decision to be married but don't get it twisted it doesn't fall short of love. Its actually more of an unselfish love because you wanted to become more for not only yourself but the party that would eventually be involved. Also with time comes wisdom, some may even come to a defining moment where they don't want to be married based off of the life they've created and this is absolutely fine not everyone gets married believe it or not. There are many monks and nuns that are perfectly happy with this decision.

Now lets focus on marriage a little. The definition above is outdated I guess you could say  now that laws are changing, so we will just call it a formal union typically recognized by law. Wow! straight and to the point it feels like, you can't go wrong with this definition it just is what it is huh?! A formal union, which is just stating a joining together or combining as an act in agreement, but to what are we agreeing? We don't hear too many rules about marriages in the Bible but when it is referenced the example of Christ and His church ride close together. The planning and achieving of goals we accomplish while single are preparing us for a sense of readiness to be in this state of union (marriage) (c.f John 14:3, Ephesians 5:23 & Revelation 19:7-9) These scriptures allow us to see another definition of marriage and how the earthly marriage we have merely symbolizes Christs preparedness and our readiness and doesn't mention at all building together physically but spiritually as we if we were together the entire time. Do you believe in this marriage where it's like the one person has been preparing themselves for you and vice versa, you have been getting ready for them? Finally, you meet and it's with a common purpose/attitude and mutual plan to just enjoy what you have and keep this union sacred. I believe in this marriage so being single is your time for building.

Thanks for the allowing me to use your post and being inspired by it. (also read Special Request post)